Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
