he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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