At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
