you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
