So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
