to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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