I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
