easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
