We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Randomize
