Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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