If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
