I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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