call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
