yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
