thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
The Olympian is in my bed
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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