At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
