she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
