I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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