I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
