You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
