i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Randomize
