does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
