Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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