We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
