If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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