He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
