Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
