I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
