I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize