i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
