Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
