I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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