i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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