whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
