This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
