My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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