Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
