do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
