The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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