i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
