He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
