I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Drake has all the answers
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I need water and some morals
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
