He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
