Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
