I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
