i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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