i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
