i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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