Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
