and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
