he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
